I'm constantly having existential crises during school. Not a day goes by that I don't ask myself what the hell I'm doing here. Not in a bad way. It's more that I'm still shocked at the workload associated with this program. Apparently taking 12 hours and teaching 2 class sections is uncommon in grad programs. Well no shit because it's impossible. But alas, I made it. 5 out of 9 of made it through the first year. Cheers!
No but seriously, Cheers. I've had wine every night since freedom.
But now my problem is what the heck to do with my freedom. Every summer I keep track of how many books I read and I'm proud to say I've already completed the first: Hunger Games. I didn't want to read it. I put it off for a long time because it's technically "young adult." But I gave in and I'm so happy I did. I finished it in 3 days and I'm on to the next. I have quite a bit of research to do this summer so if I do what I'm supposed to do, my book list won't be as long as it usually is. But I rarely do what I'm supposed to do.
In unrelated news, I leave for Vegas in a week! It still seems so far away.. but that doesn't mean I haven't bought more dresses for the trip than we have says there. Vegas is the only place you can get away with wearing outrageous things. So I plan to take full advantage.
My summer schedule has been dull. Wake up, run, breakfast, clean, read, lunch, store, work out, shower, nap, tv/read and wine until bed. It's been ugly so I haven't been to the pool in days (Shame!) I actually don't like not being busy. I feel so lazy. I can't help but take these 1-2 hour naps. There is plenty to be doing. I need to study for the GRE, code ads for Matt's thesis, code articles for a paper, start writing a conference proposal/paper, start school applications, and I need to be getting a huge start on my thesis lit review. But... I guess I'm just basking in the freedom for now. I just can't let myself get too far away from work-mode.
Even that is annoying. Sometimes I hate that there is nothing more to my life than school. I literally have nothing else to talk about because for nine months, I can't afford to even think about anything other than school.
Let's see, there's got to be some other aspect of me. Ummm. Hm. I could go for some pizza?
Well, there it is. My excruciatingly boring life. Don't get me wrong though. I wouldn't have it any other way :-)
Congrats on whooping ass this semester; get it!
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one going through serious existential funks, Mrs. Sarte. Every day of my life I feel like I am challenging myself to find something meaningful to do, lest I go crazy...er. Alcohol does help (it's not only wine with me, I do get out the scotch or beer on occasion, as it permits) but activity seems to be the best remedy.
Have fun in Vegas!
Thesis; I know how you feel. I sometimes think mine has achieved some kind of sentience and is going to consume me during the night. Have you tried Endnote? It's a really cool personal archive system that allows for (Among other things) citation formatting and keyword association (I can instantly search through all of my sources and find one the fits what I need). It's also PDF friendly and it's free (I think) to download.
Running and reading have been the two constant pleasures of my life in the last 3 weeks (I actually just blogged about it before I read this; weird huh?). I did 6 miles without stopping the other day; far cry from high school when I was suuuuper obese and hated even walking long distances.
I dread studying for the GRE; soo don't want to. I thought you were in grad school already; doesn't that mean you took the GRE? I b confuzed
Pizza is delicious but homemade pizza; that's just fanDAMNtastic, bombdiggedy, awesomeness!
http://matadornetwork.com/nights/how-to-say-cheers-in-50-languages/
ReplyDeleteCheers back at you! Personally I use Slainte, Salute and Cheers the most. Remember; the best drink if the one you have with a friend and the second best drink is the one someone bought for you.
Finding something to do shouldn't be this hard when I know there's plenty to be done! I guess it just goes to show we all need someone to push us and give us deadlines.
ReplyDeleteI do have Endnote but I'm not great with it yet. I know there's more I could be doing with it. Like, most of the PDF's won't come through. So then it really just serves to do my references easier and have the full title to go back and search for the actual article in VT's database. I need to watch the tutorial thing. ho hum... put it on the list of things to do.
6 miles is super impressive! I could never! 2 is my absolute max. I run a mile every day but I have no desire to keep going. It's never been a pleasure for me even when it gets easier.
I'm taking the GRE because I'm applying to PhD schools in the Fall and my first score was less than impressive. I can't even think about it. I loathe that test more than anything.
I've only tried to make homemade pizza a couple times- white pizza actually. It was pretty good nowa days I feel guilty when I eat pizza. Shame?
I've never heard that drink quote! I like it!
What version of Endnote do you have; the newest one is super PDF friendly.
ReplyDeleteI never was able to run more than a mile or so but then I got some better running shoes; changed everything.
Well I'm sure that you'll kick it's ass this time.
Pizza is too good to ever feel shame afterwards. There are two kinds of food related fat: one is called Happy Fat, which is what happens when you eat a lot of your favourite food, and the other is sad fat, when you eat a lot for no reason aat all and you end up gaining a bunch of weight. Pizza = Happy Fat